Songs of Substance

by Sockpuppet

 
1. Behind a Mask
Lyrics

Feeling lost in an elephant’s dream
Caught up in the digital stream
Cave of shadows, can’t say what I mean
A million miles far from home

Best foot forward, take a step back
Play defense while on the attack
Sowing discord, can’t cut them no slack
Everybody so alone

If everyone could see
Themselves through some other eyes
Innocent, caught up in the machinery
An algorithmic disguise

Making everything great again
Forget about your family and friends
Looking for a means to an end
Just don’t want to be alone

Fragile gem, split in two
Internal dialogue of them vs. you
Find acceptance with nothing to do
The voices there are all your own

If everyone could see
Themselves through some other eyes
Innocent, caught up in the machinery
An algorithmic disguise

A deeper body ache, and make a bad mistake
A million jumping on
Sharing a bad take, Nobody can quite shake
The feeling that you’re gone

Feeling lost in an elephant’s dream
Getting washed away by the digital stream
If it feels better to share another meme
Doesn’t make you less alone

If everyone could see
Themselves through some other eyes
Innocent, caught up in the machinery
An algorithmic disguise

If everyone could see
Themselves through some other eyes
Innocent, caught up in the machinery
An algorithmic disguise

About this track

This song was originally written for Song Fight!, as part of the "Live Fight" challenge for Song Fight! Live 2021.

It also has a music video, produced during the same few days during which I wrote and recorded this song. Yes, including the animation. Sometimes I can be a little obsessed.

2. Meat Grinder
Lyrics

Hippy likes Hippy snacks.
Hippy thinks they taste so good.
Hippy likes the Hippy snacks.
They’re made of whole grain wholesome wood.

Hippy snacks make them better than me, make them better than you.
Hippy snacks make them better than me, make them better than you.
Hippy snacks make them better than me, make them better than you.
Hippy snacks make them better than me, make them better.

Yuppie likes Yuppie snacks.
Yuppie likes them made of meat.
Yuppie likes the Yuppie snacks.
Suck them from the Yuppie teat.

Yuppie snacks make them better than me, make them better than you.
Yuppie snacks make them better than me, make them better than you.
Yuppie snacks make them better than me, make them better than you.
Yuppie snacks make them better than me, make them better, better, better, better.

Hippy don’t like Yuppie snacks.
They prefer things made of soy.
Yuppie don’t like hippy snacks.
Would rather play with shiny toy.

Hippy snacks make them better than me, make them better than you.
Hippy snacks make them better than me, make them better than you.
Hippy snacks make them better than me, make them better than you.
Hippy snacks make them better than me, make them bitter.

3. Freak Flag
Lyrics

Everything you like, anything that gets you high
Something there for everyone, something you can try
Getting murry with a furry in the simulated leather
Bondage in a dungeon where you can do it one better

Get your freak flag on
Get your freak flag on

Everything is good in our carved out sexy spaces
From the horniest of normies to the kinkiest of aces
Post it on social if you’re into humiliation
But remember to use content warnings — it’s just polite!

Get your freak flag on
Get your freak flag on
(Get your freak flag on)

Everything is good as long as everyone’s consenting
Couple with some trans girls who are really into fencing
Peg a strapping young lad with your strapping strap-on cock
Only if he’s legal though, I’ve been around the block

Get your freak flag on
Get your freak flag on
(Ooh yeah, get your freak flag on)

You can be a top or bottom or an indecisive switch
Take ‘em out for breakfast afterwards, if you feel the itch
Safety first, remember to wear rubber, use protection
And get it nice and shiny so you can see your own reflection
Mmm, yeah…

Get your freak flag on
Get your freak flag on
Get it on and on
Get your freak flag on

(freak flag)
Safeword to your mother
But not your actual mother
(freak flag)
‘Cuz that’d be gross

I mean, yuck

About this track

Ace: Shorthand for "asexual;" someone who doesn’t feel sexual attraction to others. They may or may not have a libido, and they may or may not be willing to engage in sexual practices with others. Some asexuals do form romantic attachments, or have limited circumstances in which they can feel sexual attraction as well (although typically not to a specific person). Just like any other orientation, there is a lot of variety in what they are interested in and comfortable doing.

Bondage: An erotic, parasexual practice involving the complete domination/subjugation of one partner by another; the dominant party enjoys the feeling of control, and the submissive enjoys not having any control. Often involves being (safely) tied up and tortured in various ways. Consent, safe words, and communication both beforehand and after are key.

Bottom: Someone who typically takes a submissive position during sexual activities.

Breakfast: A meal enjoyed after a good night’s sleep. In the US, stereotypically involves bacon or sausage, eggs, and pancakes.

Consent: Ensuring that all participants in an activity want to be a participant in it. This is not limited to specific physical things, but also, for example, being part of a discussion or being made to see imagery of it. There is also a concept of "statutory consent" in that living beings (people, pets, etc.) who do not have the faculties necessary to make an informed decision as to their participation are de facto unable to consent. This can be due to them being e.g. asleep, under the influence of medication, mentally-impaired, limited in personal experience (often measured by age), and so on.

Content warning: A warning about something that others might not want to see (such as erotic or disturbing visuals or descriptions/discussion thereof) for whatever reason. Usually combined with some mechanism of hiding the content from those who don’t actually want to see it or making it visibly distinct enough to skip.

Coupling: Mutual masturbation; two or more people using a device or (more often) their hands to bring each other to orgasm rather than direct penetration.

Dungeon: A place where bondage and domination play can take place. Usually just someone’s specially-equipped bedroom.

Fencing: A sport in which two or more people knock their swords against each other. May or may not be a euphemism.

Furry: Someone who is part of the furry fandom; there is a stereotype that this is all about sex while wearing animal costumes but there is actually a wide variety of ways in which people participate. The furry fandom is a predominantly-queer space filled with people who have had to throw away and rebuild their identities as part of their acts of rebellious self-discovery, and much of that identity revolves around what could be, rather than what is.

Horny: Someone who is in need of sexual release.

Humiliation: Some people find their intimate practices to be very personal, and would be very embarrassing if it became widely-known. Some people find the perceived embarrassment itself incredibly gratifying.

Itch: A physical sensation of needing to be scratched or rubbed; also used metaphorically as a general urge.

Kinky: Someone who is very much into exploring different forms of physical intimacy, often involving props, body modification, and exploring different positions.

Lad: Someone identifying as male and generally perceived as being fairly young.

Leather: A material derived from the skin of an animal, usually cow, which is often associated with articles of clothing used during BDSM. As it’s animal-derived, some folks prefer to use artificial/simulated versions of it.

Legal: Above the age of consent, and able to give consent.

Mother: Literally, the person who gestated and/or raised someone. Figuratively, someone who takes a figurehead role within a group, possibly in the form of domination play but also possibly in the form of keeping a social circle together or establishing the rules and mores of a close-knit, found-family community.

Murr: A thing that furries stereotypically say while aroused. Often written "mrr."

Normie: Someone who is "vanilla," i.e. only into very mainstream ideas of sex, sexuality, and partnership. i.e. anyone who actually needs to read this glossary.

Peg: Wearing a prosthetic phallus and using it to anally penetrate someone, typically male-identified.

Rubber: Both a euphemism for a prophylactic (which is usually made of some form of latex or similar material), and a material often used to cover various body parts in a form-fitting way. Some people very deeply appreciate that aesthetic, especially appreciating the smooth, shiny texture.

Safeword: A phrase used before initiating an activity where words such as "stop" or "ouch" are ambiguous, due to possibly being part of a roleplayed scenario or being part of the erotic nature of the activity. This is agreed upon by all partners beforehand so that if someone is feeling uncomfortable or needs to cease the activity, all who hear it will immediately know to stop. Ideally it is a word which will not normally come up during the activity, such as "lemon" or "asparagus," although in the case of erotic chef roleplay those particular choices would obviously not be suitable.

Shiny: Highly reflective of light.

Social: Shorthand for social media; Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, that sort of thing. More broadly, Internet sites where everyone you know can see a thing and where it remains accessible in relative perpetuity.

Strap-on: A prosthetic phallus, usually held in place by a belt around the wearer’s waist.

Switch: Someone who alternates between being a top and a bottom.

Top: Someone who typically takes a dominant position during sexual activities.

Trans: Identifying with a gender other than what they were assigned at birth. An adjective, which typically modifies a further specification of what their identity is, rather than their external assignment; for example, "trans girl" typically refers to someone who was born with a penis but identifies as female or feminine.

Yuck: A thing you’re not supposed to say about someone else’s "yum" (a thing they particularly enjoy), although there are certain things that most would agree absolutely are a "yuck," such as real-life incest, bestiality, pedophilia, or other such situations where consent cannot be established. Fantasy versions of those, however, are subject to the participants’ taste.

4. A Long Plastic Hallway
Lyrics

it’s inimical
inimitable
and so predictable
not a miracle

it’s despicable
deliverable
get irritable, with a thread to pull,
feeling minimal

a seeming emptiness
encroaching loneliness
result of pettiness, try to redress
the phoniness

acrimonious
sanctimonious
a former holiness, the brokenness
melodious

finding time to spare
sit in the broken chair
being unaware, without a care
all thoughts laid bare

a tantric suicide
already dead inside
climb up the hillside, across the divide,
smell insecticide

there’s a new tomorrow, it’s falling into place
there’s a new tomorrow, it’s running out of space
there’s a new tomorrow, it’s all fucked up
get your new tomorrow, you’re out of luck

get a steady job, and another piece of me
get a big tv, and another take
get a new degree, stuck in the machinery
in the new tomorrow, you get what you make

it’s inimical
counterfactual
and so predictable
not a miracle

it’s despicable
deliverable
get irritable, with a thread to pull,
feeling minimal

and you simply cannot see what this all has done to me
simply cannot see through the crooked lies
simply cannot see everything that’s eating me
nobody is looking through each others’ eyes

simply cannot see what this all has meant to me
simply cannot see through the skin disguise
simply cannot see all the greater piece of me
walking through the hallway something on the rise

feeling critical
and irritable
analytical
parasitical

apocalyptical
stereotypical
it’s predictable, hypocritical,
and a miracle

About this track

This song was inspired by repeatedly tapping the tuning fork button on my portable amp.

5. Don't Come Here to Live
Lyrics

We’re so happy that you want to stay
But our city’s full please go away
We don’t want to turn away your kind
So come anyway, I guess we won’t mind

We know what you’ve seen on the TV
How we live our lives totally fancy free
But you really ought to know
Portlandia is just a show

We are passive, and aggressive
Sacred bike rights often start fights
But we all drive, when you arrive
We say you’ll never need a car

We have hipsters - Silly tricksters
We’re ironic - Catatonic
Brew our own beer, but please don’t fear
‘Cause there’s always PBR

So you live here now, you want a job?
I guess that’s cool - you’re not a slob
You could work at a restaurant
If that is the kind of job you want

What’s that you say? You have a degree?
A master’s in sustainability?
That’s really great, but you oughta know
I just got mine an hour ago

We are passive, and aggressive
Sacred bike rights often start fights
But we all drive, when you arrive
We say you’ll never need a car

We have hipsters - Silly tricksters
We’re ironic - Catatonic
Brew our own beer, but please don’t fear
‘Cause there’s always PBR

I guess we can’t talk you out of it
So welcome to Portland, We Give A Shit™
What’s that you say, you love the sky so blue?
Well I guess I’ve got some news for you…

We are passive, and aggressive
Sacred bike rights often start fights
But we all drive, when you arrive
We say you’ll never need a car

We have hipsters - Silly tricksters
We’re ironic - Catatonic
Brew our own beer, but please don’t fear
‘Cause there’s always PBR
And there’s always PBR
And there’s always PBR

About this track

This song isn’t about Portland, but it also isn’t not about Portland.

It’s also about Seattle.

But also it was just written for the Song Fight! Live Fight in Portland, in 2015.

6. A Problem of Perspective
Lyrics

Here is the problem: The way I see you is
Colored by all of the things we’ve been through.
Here is the problem: The way you see me is
All about the things that you think I did to you.

That’s how a problem of perspective seems to work;
Gets in the way of love. We think we’ve been hurt,
We say we’ve had enough, we lose the will to trust.
That’s what a problem of perspective does to us.

Love keeps no score of wrongs, they tell me, but my
Eyes won’t open and my heart won’t let go.
I make assumptions, despite the things I see, I…
I deny the evidence, I trust what I think I know.

That’s how a problem of perspective seems to work;
Gets in the way of love. We think we’ve been hurt,
We say we’ve had enough, we lose the will to trust.
That’s what a problem of perspective does to us.

At least two sides to every story.
At least one truth for every lie.
The optimist afraid to disbelieve,
The pessimist afraid to try.

That’s how a problem of perspective seems to work;
Gets in the way of love. We think we’ve been hurt,
We say we’ve had enough, we lose the will to trust.
That’s what a problem of perspective does to us.

About this track
7. Falling
Lyrics

You shouldn’t fall
For anyone at all
Eventually you’re gonna hit the ground

Everything you do
Please do it just for you
Because you are so great to have around

And if you should fall
From something ten feet tall
I’ll try to catch you and make it okay

But everything I do
I can’t do just for you
I won’t always be there to save the day

And then if I should fall
From fifty stories tall
I hope that you’ll be there right next to me

And everything we do
We ask each other to
Even if we sometimes disagree

But you shouldn’t fall
For anyone at all
No matter what you think that you have found

And everything you do
Please do it just for you
Because I don’t want you to hit the ground

About this track

I was going through a breakup, with someone who really wanted me to do more than I was able.

8. Space Cadet
Lyrics

Space cadet, what can you bring us
To bring us together

Space cadet, what can you bring us
To bring us together

Space cadet can you see all of the planets and stars
Lifeless and empty but they know who they are
He is so alone
But we are really alone

Fly away, leave us alone, we don’t want you anyway
I hope you’re happy floating free up in space
It’s so nice up there
But it’s so rotten down here

Space cadet, what can you bring us
To bring us together

Space cadet, what can you bring us
To bring us together

You watch the universe go
You wishing on the last star
What do you think of us now
How can you live with us now

Hey cadet, where do you think
You’re going don’t float away
Take us with you, we’ll miss you so

Space cadet, what can you bring us
To bring us together

Space cadet, what can you bring us
To bring us together

About this track

This was recorded in posthumous tribute to its composer, Seth Gibbs, who probably did not intend for this song to be about himself.

His old band‘s original version is available on Song Fight!.

9. Golfpunk Rides Again
Lyrics

20 years ago I knew this guy, you probably know the type. His name was Gary or Greg or something, but everyone knew him as Golfpunk. His whole thing was breaking in windows of expensive cars using a golf club to protest the wealth gap or… somethin’ like that.

Anyway, he called himself a performance artist, and some rich dude decided it would be funny to give him a Cadillac to drive around, you know, "ironically?" Golfpunk, he changed, man… He changed.

(Golfpunk, he drives a Cadillac)
(Golfpunk, he drives a Cadillac)
(Golfpunk, he drives a Cadillac)
(Golfpunk, he drives a Cadillac)

Now that he had a Cadillac of his own he suddenly felt a lot of empathy for the other Cadillac owners and stopped smashing windows. He wanted to smash things, though, so… he took his golf club to the golf course and… he started playing.

You know, golf.

The rich peoples’ sport.

And he was good at it.

(Golfpunk, he drives a nine iron)
(Golfpunk, he drives a nine iron)
(Golfpunk, he drives a nine iron)
(Golfpunk, he’s gonna crash and burn)

He ended up entering into a tournament and won a lot of money, but then his past caught up with him and all these rich assholes, like, sued him for the windows he broke. And then he had to go on a big ol’ apology tour, ‘cause it’s not like he hurt anyone or said anything racist, but God forbid some windows get smashed up.

Anyway, we all kind of lost track of him for a long time, but then a few weeks ago he reached out to me and was like, "Hey, remember me?" And I was like, "Hey, I remember you! Man, Golfpunk! It’s been a long heckin’ time." Then he kinda went silent.

And then he says to me, "So, um, I’m not Golfpunk anymore. I got married, settled down, had kids… now I’m more of a… golf dad."

And I was like, "Oh. Huh. Weird."

And then he said the most offensive thing to me ever:

"And now I drive a Prius."

(Golfpunk, he drove a Cadillac)
(Golfpunk, he drove a Cadillac)
(Golfpunk, he drove a Cadillac)
(Golfpunk, he drove a Cadillac)

Anyway, I guess the moral of the story is it’s okay to grow up sometimes, and maybe you’re going to grow apart too. And that’s alright.

Just don’t become an asshole.

About this track

This song was written as a 20th anniversary celebration of the very first Song Fight!.

10. Isle Dauphine
Lyrics

My isle dauphine
She’ll never come clean
What does she mean
She’ll never go clean
Oh, isle dauphine

She walks down the aisle
All of the while
I’m thinking I’ll
Walk single file
Oh, isle dauphine

I heard what she said, and
She’s turning all red
Might as well be dead for
Everything she said
Oh, isle dauphine

She’s walking the border with
everything in order and
takes off the garter and
Runs a bit harder
Oh, isle dauphine

My isle dauphine
She’ll never come clean
What does she mean
She’ll never go clean
Oh, isle dauphine

About this track

This was the 2011 Live Fight entry for Song Fight! Live! in New York City.

11. Good Luck Charm
Lyrics

This thing I found lying in the street
Don’t know what it is but it’s pretty neat
When I picked it up, it filled me with energy

Now everyone’s always lookin’ around
Turning their head to see this thing I found
Give me a look, I think that it’s jealousy

It’ll always be my lucky charm
Keeping me safe and free from harm
I know everything will always be okay

Everything all said, I’m good
At least long as I’m touching wood
My good luck charm will always save the day

It looks kind of like a rocket ship
Keep it on my belt, held it with a clip
And suddenly nobody wants to fight

Walking through the village green,
Lots of people say "that’s keen!"
Some of them even cheer and shout "All right!"

It’ll always be my lucky charm
Keeping me safe and free from harm
I know everything will always be okay

Everything all said, I’m good
At least long as I’m touching wood
My good luck charm will always save the day

A baker must be what I be
Because everybody says to me
Something about the dough made of dill that I wear

I’m not quite sure what they mean
But I don’t want to make a scene
Anyway they said to look out for a bear

I walked on by a man in blue
He took one look and said “how do you do,
I think I’m gonna take you into custody”

I wasn’t sure just what he meant
But then it was clear this was heaven-sent
Because that bear can never get to me

It’ll always be my lucky charm
Keeping me safe and free from harm
I know everything will always be okay

Everything all said, I’m good
At least long as I’m touching wood
My good luck charm will always save the day

It’ll always be my lucky charm
Keeping me safe and free from harm
I know everything will always be okay

Everything all said, I’m good
At least long as I’m touching wood
My good luck charm will always save the day

About this track

This was the 2016 Live Fight entry for Song Fight! Live! in New York City.

It’s just a happy accident that these two Live Fight entries from the same city happened to go next to each other on this album.

12. Better Luck Next Year
Lyrics

This year had its challenges
All my flowers dead, my
pain got worse, my brain got worse, there’s
something wrong with my head

What happened to my career, it
didn’t go my way
Things feel bad, and I’m in fear I
won’t live another day

oh, it can only get better
oh, I know it will get better

we see the rise of fascists who think
many lives don’t matter
a president who’s on the brink, only
cares to be flattered

where can our people go from here
it all just seems too much
famine devastation fear
we need a human touch

oh, it can only get better
oh, I know it will get better

but it wasn’t all so bad
some of it was swell
remember all the good times we had
Song Fight! Live went well

We take the hand we have been dealt
this year’s problems were a-plenty
2019 really smelt, so
here’s to 2020

oh, it can only get better
oh, I know it will get better
oh, it can only get better
oh, I know it will get better

About this track

This song was written for Song Fight! Live 2020, and I don’t think people got the joke that it was a song about how 2020 was going to have been so much better than 2019 was.

(For those reading this from the distant future: It very much wasn’t.)

13. Fibromyalgia
Lyrics

Every day I’m just a little older
I feel a little twinge up in my shoulder
Icing up my limbs until they’re colder
Reduce the burning pain into a smolder

I’ve got fibromyalgia
I’ve got fibromyalgia
I feel a lot of pain but it’s
Mostly in my brain I have
Fibromyalgia

I’ve got Fibromyalgia
Fibromyalgia
There’s something in my brain that makes me
Sensitive to pain I’ve got
Fibromyalgia

Well I think it’s pretty nice
To eat turmeric and rice
With a spicy Indian curry

And I get so much advice
And I’ve heard it once or twice
About swimming and Pilates and so much yoga
(You should swim do Pilates and so much yoga!)

Fibromyalgia, I’ve got
Fibromyalgia
It’s excruciating pain
That comes from my defective brain
I’ve got fibromyalgia

About this track

I wrote this song the night after I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, based on the then-current understanding of the condition (before new research showed that it’s actually an autoimmune condition), and also about my long-time frustration with just how people who don’t experience chronic pain talk to people who do.

14. Strategies to Live
Lyrics

You can hide yourself down a deep, dark hole
Or hoist yourself on a really tall pole
Anything that’ll help you get away

You can do heavy drugs to numb the pain, or
Ask a surgeon to remove your brain
So you can fit right in and start to play

Change your face and change your name
Hide everything that brings you shame
Or go on a preemptive sneak attack

Dig deep into the viper’s pit
Embroil yourself in petty shit
Just commit ‘coz there’s no turning back

Oh, I wish I didn’t worry oh so much
Oh, I wish I could feel fine
Oh, if only all my hopes weren’t out of touch
I wish my safety wasn’t on the line

If you’re accused of doing a bad crime
Want to hide for a very very very long time
Consider all the possibilities

Make a run for President
Convince the people you are heaven sent
You might just win and then you are home free

Even if you’re caught lying
Everyone gives you points for trying
It’s not that the bear stakes well, it skates at all

Even if you destroy the world
It doesn’t matter, you can fuck every girl
And then you can go home and take your ball

Oh, I wish I didn’t worry oh so much
Oh, I wish I could feel fine
Oh, if only all my hopes weren’t out of touch
I wish my safety wasn’t on the line

In the long run everything will be fine
It will just be a matter of time, in
Twelve billion years this will all be gone

In the meantime just try to survive
The world is better with you alive
Outliving him is a reason to go on

About this track

This was written for Circle of Titles in 2016, when I was assigned the title "Strategies to Live," which felt super relevant given the then-recent Presidential election which was at odds with my safety as a trans person.

It took me five years to release this album, and I kept on feeling like it was too late to release this topical song, and yet, somehow it manages to remain topical.